Blending Two
Families...
For all their joy, weddings are
sometimes charged with potentially explosive situations, namely the
feelings of divorced parents, stepparents and children-either yours or
your groom's.
Include the children in all
appropriate prenuptial planning and festivities. Be sensitive to their
reactions. No matter what the relationship is with the former wife or
husband, be amicable in discussing wedding plans involving the
children.
Schedule a special visit with your
clergyman so he can meet the children. Many ceremonies include vows
for children, emphasizing the formation of the new family and
recognizing their place in it. Ask the children if they want to
participate in such vows, and respect their decision and feelings.
If children choose only to attend
the wedding as guests, accept this decision gracefully. Make
arrangements for special seating, perhaps just before your parents are
seated.
Include the children in the
receiving line, even if they did not participate in the actual
ceremony. Introduce them in their old and new roles. For example,
"This is John's son and my stepson, Michael."
As important as it is that the
children understand that the new parent is in a sense marrying them,
too, it is also important that they respect the new relationship
between the two adults. So, if you take a honeymoon trip right after
the wedding, take it alone. Plan a special family trip later but
reserve the honeymoon just for you and your groom.
Avoid making assumptions-about
anything. Be open and communicate with children. Including them in the
nuptial ceremony can enhance the wedding and lend a firm base to your
new, blended family.
You can also involve the children as
part of the ceremony by giving them
family
medallions, to signify their importance and unity in your new
lives together!
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