|
Do you have a question about
wedding etiquette, or need an idea to make your wedding unique? With over
20 years experience as a wedding consultant, and a well known author for
California and New York wedding magazines, This is the place to come for
answers! So drop Annie an email, and check back weekly for answers to your
questions!
Email Annie
Recent
Questions...
Dear Annie,
We would like to
have a private, family-only ceremony followed by a reception where we
would invite friends and co-workers. How should I word an invitation
to a reception only event?
~ Beth Ouellete
Hello Beth!
Your wording would be something such as: "Mr and Mrs.... invite you
to a reception in honor of" or, "...request the pleasure of your company
at an afternoon reception following a private morning ceremony".
My preference is the first, as it eliminates the confusion as to whether
or not they are actually invited to the ceremony or not. Either way,
your invitation would not use the formal "request the honor of your
presence" but more of the informal "pleasure of your company", as the
formality of the ceremony is not applicable.
Have a WONDERFUL wedding!
Q - How can I honor my mother, who
passed away last year, at our wedding? I would like to include her
on my wedding invitations, is that OK?
Because the invitiation is being sent in
lieu of a traditional in-person invite, it is not proper to have a
deceased person on the invitation... simply said, a deceased person cannot
'invite' someone to an event. You can, however honor your mother
with something as symbolic as an empty space in the chair or pew
traditionally set aside for the mother, and place a long stem rose on the
seat. You could also have a special candle burning at the alter in
her honor.
Q
- How
important/unimportant is it for the parents of the bride and groom to sit
at the same table at the wedding reception?
A wonderful question! What I have done over the years with my weddings is
to have each set of parents, or in the case of divorced/separated parents
one for each, is a 'hosted' table. You strategically reserve the tables
directly in front of the head table, and the parents then have the ability
to invite their own friends/relatives to sit with them. This makes for a
more enjoyable time at the reception for EVERYONE!
And, incidentally, if the parents get along well, it is always nice for
them to sit together, but definitely NOT required!
If your attendants will be at your head table, you might also consider
having a table reserved nearby for spouses/dates/children of your
attendants... so that they are near by one another as well!
Have a WONDERFUL wedding!
Q - How do I deal with a guest
that my fiancé and his family wants to invite but I don't care for and really
don't want at our wedding?
Consider the big picture, this
person's relationship with your fiancé and his family, the issues that could
arise out of a refusal to invite the person, and most importantly the fact that
this is HIS wedding as well! Another factor for you... you will be so busy
and visiting with other friends and family that you most likely your concerns
about YOUR feelings towards them that day won't even come to fruition!
Q - I am just
starting planning, and would like to use a color scheme that is unusual.
Any ideas?
One of the dilemmas that bride's
have faced for years! There are only so many colors in the rainbow, but
there are MANY variations of those colors, and that is where you can be unique!
Instead of purple, try an eggplant or plum shade, rather than blue you can use
variations of turquoise, pinks can become blush or use multiple shades of your
color scheme. One important thing to remember... be flexible! Find
your attendant's dresses FIRST, then plan the scheme around them. It will
save you frustration of not being able to find colors in the shades you desire.
Q - I am planning a small wedding ceremony;
we are on a budget, and my fiancé's moved here from out of state and doesn't
really know many people.
Between my fiancé and myself, we have 5
nieces and nephews. I was planning on having my sister's daughters as my
flower girls, but now I'm afraid that the other 3 nieces and nephews (and
their mothers) will feel left out if I don't incorporate them into the
ceremony somehow.
Any
advice on how to make everyone happy without having a huge daycare-like
wedding? ~ Jill in Greeley
In European weddings, especially in England, attendants
for centuries have always been children, with the exception of the honor
attendant. There are many different roles that can be created to include
children in a wedding day. Girls OR Boys can be ring bearers in a
ceremony, you can have them carry the train of your gown down the isle (as
long as you have a cathedral length gown, and the children are old enough to
understand their responsibility). Older children can serve as candle
lighters, ushers, and can be guestbook attendants. They can pass out
programs at the ceremony, birdseed or bubbles afterwards, or can pass out
wedding favors during the reception. You can also incorporate a ribbon
pulling in your cake ceremony, where ribbons are tied to charms that are
hidden in, or under, your cake.
Enjoy the little ones, and remember that you will be
setting the tone for those little girls who will start now dreaming of their
own wedding!
Q - My parents
are divorced and remarried to new spouses, and they all get along very well.
How should I seat them for the ceremony? ~ Lisa B in
Greeley
Congratulations
on your upcoming wedding! How special to have TWO sets of parents to share
in this magical time with you! You have two choices for seating them at
the ceremony... you can place all four of them in the front row, your mother and
her husband seated all the way to the inside of the isle and your father and his
wife seated next. Or, seat your mother and her husband in the front row
and your father and his wife directly behind in the second row. That makes
it easier for your father to step in after giving you away, and they both get
the best seats in the house!
Q - My fiancé and I met online
and we would like to do something to reflect that in our wedding... any
suggestions? ~ Amy R in Fort Collins
Of course Amy! I'd suggest using this as
your opportunity to have fun at the reception... there are specialty candy
makers who design chocolates in different shapes... a tiny computer as a wedding
favor, or how about finding a creative baker to make your groom's cake in the
shape of a computer? You can also write a fun poem for your engraved
napkins, and sign it using your screen names!
Q - I'd like to do something
special for my bridesmaids during the reception ~ Julie T in Windsor
How thoughtful of you Julie! I do have a
fun suggestion, before cutting your cake with your groom, you can celebrate a
Victorian tradition of "Ribbon Pulling". Charms are attached to long
ribbons and inserted into the cake before it is decorated. The ribbons
trail onto the table, and just before cutting the cake, invite your bridesmaids
to the ribbon pulling. They each find a loose ribbon, and on the count of
3 pull it from the cake. The charms are each symbolic, one for the next to
marry, the next to have a child, good health, finding fortune, and others.
Q - We are planning a Christmas
wedding and need a fun idea for favors ~ Alexis in Cheyenne
Such a special way to celebrate the holiday
season Alexis! Make the day memorable for years to come, and consider a
Christmas Ornament that is symbolic to you, or personalized with your names and
date. Your guests will remember your wedding every year as they hang it on
the tree!
Q - I'd like to do something
special for our mothers during the ceremony, do you have some suggestions! ~
Susan in Greeley
I'm always full of good ideas! How about
having your mothers begin the ceremony, just before your processional, by
lighting the candles that you will in turn each use to light your unity candle?
Or, perhaps have your florist insert special roses into your bouquet that you
can 'pluck' for each mother? Or even have a nice hand tied bouquet with a
special note to each of them ready to hand out after you are pronounced husband
and wife. I've also had the groom give each mother a handkerchief that has
been embroidered.
Q - Are response cards REALLY
necessary? They add some cost to our invitation budget and we are trying
to keep our costs down. ~ Christy in Eaton
Well, this is a really common question Christy,
and I hope I can shed some light! Although they are an extra cost,
in the end response cards really do save you from wasted expense. By
collecting them, you get a much more accurate count of how many guests plan to
attend your event and in turn you know how much food to provide. There is
nothing worse than running out of food at a wedding reception, other than
throwing out extra food. It will also help with planning for seating,
table decorations, favors, etc. I've come across too many brides who end
up calling guests at the last minute and spend more on long distance phone calls
and their time than the response cards would have cost! You can always
consider making your RSVP (if they will call by phone, since they won't be able
to return the card) information your corner copy on the invitation, the cost is
much less than a separate card.
|
